well...after I lost my log in...forgot what email address I used...and then lost my link to even get here. I'm back.

So watch out world..here I come. *insert cheers and applauding here*

I’m seriously amazed at how someone can live such a lie, feed their lies to their children who think it is truth, practically traumatize the lives of people they are involved with, nearly destroy the lives of two of their children with their lies and coddling…and live their life as if they’ve never done anything wrong.

To be so delusional as to create multiple stories of the birth of one child…and send letters to them addressing each story each year on that child’s birthday…when they were so drugged beyond consciousness is beyond me.

I’ve always been interested in the mind of the insane. And yes, the person I'm speaking of is insane by textbook standards. Possibly schizophrenic. Personally, to instill such filthy untruths into a child’s mind is criminal. I think people who ruin the lives and mentality of their children should be locked away with some of the most dangerous criminals.

To function so well with such delusional bliss and allusions of grandeur is simply amazing. Medically impossible, yet it happens. I grew up watching it happen. I grew up watching my mom constantly being verbally raped in every since of the word by an ex-wife of my father’s. I knew what went on behind the scenes from the time I was 4 years old. I couldn’t understand it then, but it didn’t take long for me to figure everything out. And now, I read all of the letters. Every single one. I saw the lies, felt the condescending tone in each one. Even 20-some odd years later.

To poison the minds of such young and impressionable children is perverted. To make your children swoop to you for comfort and “attention”…is down right wrong. You were never forced to give them up. You were never made to “abandon” your babies. You wanted to. Why? Because you wanted a man. You selfishly gave up your children, dug yourself into a deeper hole of self destruction, furthering your addiction to delusional visions of what you wanted your life to be like, always being the victim, always crying out for attention like the boy who cried wolf. Disgusting.

For many years I’ve wanted to say these things out loud, to your face. But only a few times have I ever met you and for the sake of my mother, my father and MY family…I kept quiet. I will always keep quiet. But one day, you will answer for the lies you told, for the pain you caused innocent people and for the injustice you have done to your children. When that day comes I will be waiting. I will always be waiting. Standing on the sidelines, watching, laughing…because karma is a bitch. And you will get yours.

No, it will probably not be fixed tomorrow.



….I’m soap boxing, so deal.

I was playing around with this application on Facebook that lets you pick your top five pet peeves. Well…I realized I have more than 5. WAY MORE. So…I’m going to list my top


1. People who have issues “using” the public bathrooms. If you gotta go…you gotta go. You germaphobes are going to die a young unlived life.
2. Slow Computers…and idiots that know they are slow…but do nothing about it, because they’ve spent all of their funding on worthless crap (i.e. work)
3. Twitter, enough said.
4. Elitist bastards.
5. People who constantly reiterate how much your opinions mean to them and always ask for ideas on how to improve the “process”….but yet condemn you when you give the suggests because they say “you’re just complaining and are a trouble maker”.
6. Bleeding Hearts….and you wonder why our country is in such a financial crisis.
7. Noobs
8. Egomaniacs
9. Ignorance and those who think it is bliss.
10. Back to the public bathrooms…it’s totally ok to do your business, whatever number it is…but make sure you flush your mess when you’re done. Thanks.
11. Does it look like it’s my job to watch the fax machine all day, when it sits on the OTHER SIDE OF A WALL from my desk? Really…do I not look busy enough? So, NO, I didn’t see if YOUR fax came through…however long ago and NO, I won’t put it in your box when it comes through because I DON’T MAN THE FAX MACHINE. Again, thanks.
12. Optimistic Idealism. Yes, we all wish the world was fluffy bunnies and pink ponies…but it’s not, get over it.
13. People who butcher the English language and use words completely out of context with grammar that even my three year old doesn’t use…in the effort of sounding “edumacated”.

I could go on forever…but I’ll end here. What does this say about me? Who cares? Lol

Just remember, we must never be mean to stupid people….if we are, they might go away, and then who will we laugh at?

In lieu of the crappy day the entire world apparently had yesterday...this is for my ladies.  Enjoy!

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough
money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something
perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she's content to leave behind.... 

   A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy
 enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who
always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece
of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight
matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of
control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK
AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her
childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she
would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live
alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a
charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs
soothing...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

 

 

I am slightly amazed however...that even though it appears yesterday was a horrible day for the cosmos...and everyone was having a crappy time, I actually had a pretty good day. I took my placement exams (a semester late...but oh well)...and took a little drive to Mt. Morrow in Baden.  I witnessed some breath taking scenery, saw some deer and just relaxed. It was great.

"Will Think For Food"...how come you never see those signs being held up on the side of the road. Guess thinking has become overrated.

Ahh, I digress.  Anyway, on to my initial reason for posting this blog.

I've come to realize that there is a reason behind everything that happens to you in your course of life. Regardless of the magnitude in which that experience effects you at the present moment it is happening.  Each instance that you roll over in life paves the road to your ultimate destiny. I'm beginning to think there really isn't "multiple roads" or "doors" to destiny. I'm starting to realize that everything that happens is part of a much larger plan in your life.  Maybe it wasn't necessarily "planned out" and it definitely wasn't written in stone, but it was meant to be. You take something, from every occurrence in life, with you when you leave. Whether it was accepting a dead end job that made you miserable while you were there, or meeting that one person you thought was insignificant at the time. Everything you experience, everyone you meet shapes who you are as a person.  Everyone is given the opportunity to experience one thing or another and to deny yourself that experience is to deny yourself "life".  You can't truly say you've ever lived if you stay in your own secure stable world and never branch out to the unknown. 

Maybe a new experience in your life means a little less money in your bank account. Or working just a little harder to get where you need to be. Or talking to that person that seems so small and unimportant while you're scarfing down your food on your lunch break. Each time your very being touches something new some aspect of that thing, event or person comes away with you as you move on to something else. Some people or events in your life might seem insignificant at the time and you might even have trouble remembering it at all. However just when you need to you'll recall  "that one time..."  You'll remember that one person that didn't mean anything to you when you met them. And you'll reflect on that and think, "Wow...I knew there was some reason for..." Whether the experience is positive, negative or merely neutral in the realm of how it effected you at the moment, remember it happened for a reason.  To help form you into who you are in the present and cut the pathway to who you will become in the future.

Ever heard the phrase "I learn something new everyday"?  I have.  Every day I say that to myself. And it's so true. Whether you realize it or not, you are learning something new everyday.  Even if you aren't consciously aware of it.

It is also important to look at yourself as well.  What part do you want people to walk away with?  Either way, you're going to eventually impact their life.

And this by NO means is suggesting you should always be positive and wonderful in everything you do.  We're human. We're miserable by nature.  This is simply stating that there is a reason for everything, that things don't "just happen".

Just know that when you're at your wits end that this too will pass and another bump will be smoothed out in the modeling clay of life.

And now for something....completely different.. (or not)....

life.

Life is like a theatrical show.  When the lights come on the show starts...you are born.  You go through each act, performing each part...every monologue, every line to the best of your ability. Always striving to deliver a better performance than the last act.  So you will be remembered. And then...the curtains close, the audience applaudes...and all is silent. The show is over. You die.  

But you don't get an encore in life.